Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda: What to Do When You Get It Wrong

Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda: What to Do When You Get It Wrong

As a manager or leader, it’s inevitable—you will make mistakes. It’s part of the journey, and it’s a part that impacts others. But don’t let the “what ifs” (what if I… could’ve, would’ve, should’ve) weigh you down. Instead, let those missteps be stepping stones for improvement. Here’s a simple approach to handle mistakes constructively, learn from them, and keep moving forward.

Step 1: Do an After-Action Review

Take a close, honest look at what went wrong. An After-Action Review can help you analyze the mistake objectively, allowing you to break down the situation without the weight of guilt or “what ifs.” Focus on these questions:

• What happened, and what was my role in it?

• What signals did I miss?

• What factors contributed to the mistake?

• What can I do to avoid this in the future?

Step 2: Acknowledge and Take Responsibility

Accountability starts at the top. Openly acknowledging the mistake shows your team that it’s okay to be transparent and responsible. Keep it straightforward—no excuses, no self-blame. Simply owning up to the error can go a long way in building trust.

Step 3: Explain the Cause, Not an Excuse

Sharing the context of the mistake can shed light on why it happened and help your team see how similar issues might be avoided in the future. Did a particular process or decision-making flaw lead to the error? Explaining the “why” behind the error is an opportunity for everyone to learn.

Step 4: Shift to Solutions

Your team doesn’t need to dwell on what went wrong as much as they need to see what’s going right. Share your plan to correct the issue, as well as any proactive steps you’ll take to prevent similar situations. Demonstrating a solution-oriented mindset reassures your team and builds confidence.

Step 5: Invite Feedback

Inviting your team’s insights and feedback can be invaluable. They may see things from a different angle or suggest improvements you hadn’t considered. Plus, it reinforces an open, collaborative culture where everyone feels empowered to contribute.

Step 6: Model Resilience and Positivity

A manager’s response to mistakes can set the tone for how the team handles setbacks. Embrace a positive attitude and show resilience, reminding your team that mistakes are part of growth. This will encourage them to approach their own challenges with the same mindset.

Step 7: Close the Loop

Follow up with your team after implementing changes. Share the results and lessons learned, showing that you’re committed to seeing it through. This sense of closure reinforces accountability and helps the team see the tangible benefits of learning from mistakes.

Mistakes happen to the best of us, but when handled openly and constructively, they can be some of the greatest learning opportunities. So, coulda, woulda, shoulda? Don't get into a mind loop. Let it go. Focus on what you’ll do next—and keep moving forward.

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