Does Vulnerability Strengthen Relationships?

By shrinking the inauthentic parts of yourself, you grow stronger, clearer, and more connected to those around you.

Mark Gedeon

7/25/20242 min read

man with white face mask
man with white face mask

Does Vulnerability Strengthen Relationships?

Often, vulnerability is misunderstood as being messy, self-revelatory, and emotionally chaotic. But true vulnerability should be much more nuanced and purposeful. It’s about calibration—recalibrating what you know and don’t know, what you do and don’t do, who you are and who you are not. Romans 12:3 offers profound insights into this, emphasizing the importance of humility and authentic self-assessment.

Shrinking to Grow

Choosing vulnerability is about shrinking your self-esteem to what is true, clear, and strong. It is not becoming a doormat but honestly about your ability. By doing this, you say, "I know this, but I don’t know that. I do this, but I don’t do that. I am this, but I am not that." This act of vulnerability makes the core of who you are cleaner, clearer, and stronger.

Embracing Humility

Romans 12:3 states, "For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you." This verse highlights the essence of humility—an honest and balanced self-assessment. True humility aligns perfectly with vulnerability, as both recognize and accept our limitations and strengths without pretense. Practicing humility means acknowledging that you do not have all the answers and are open to learning and growth. This openness invites others to connect with you on a deeper level and genuine relationships can flourish.

Faith and Authenticity

Faith plays a crucial role in understanding and embracing vulnerability. It provides the foundation to accept ourselves as we are, knowing we are valued and loved despite our imperfections. This acceptance allows us to be more open and honest, fostering deeper and more meaningful connections with others.

Creating Space for Others

Vulnerability is shedding the parts of us that are inauthentic. Take off the masks. No more pretending or faking it to make it. By clearly defining who you are, you take up less space in terms of pretenses and allow your true self to shine. When you embrace your true self, you allow others the space to express themselves genuinely. Your authenticity invites others to step into their own acts of vulnerability, self-expression, and honesty about who they are. As a result, relationships become more meaningful and real. Vulnerability builds trust and strengthens bonds, making it a cornerstone of healthy, supportive connections.

Removing the Pretend Bits

Choosing to be vulnerable is a powerful act of recalibration. It’s about embracing your true self, practicing humility, and creating space for others to do the same. By shrinking the inauthentic parts of yourself, you grow stronger, clearer, and more connected to those around you. In a world that often celebrates invulnerability and perfection, vulnerability can seem like a weakness. However, it is, in fact, a profound strength that invites truth, humility, and genuine relationships.

I got the idea for this article from Michael Bungay Stanier's video If We Say Yes To Leadership Vulnerability, What Do We Have To Say No To? https://boxofcrayons.com/resources/episode-3-jean-philippe-courtois-michael-bungay-stanier-speak-to-leadership-vulnerability/

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